After having my second baby last year, I kind of lost my vibe. It disappeared in the nappy bin or somewhere in that vicinity. Mila’s first year was a churning mess of vomit, reflux, pain and tears, medication, hospital visits and tension. I was lost at sea for a little while.
I became addicted to chocolate. The baby weight I’d planned to shed, sat there on my hips like that kind of annoying friend who never leaves. I became a downer to my friends. A few loyal and devoted besties hung in there – but many lost touch. Here’s how I found my my vibe again.
I turned 40 last year and it wasn’t the momentous milestone I’d imagined. There was no cake. No big party and certainly no hangover. But there was one thing. Ever since I can remember, I’d always wanted a beach cruiser. For my 36th birthday, my husband gave me a card with a picture of a bike and a note that said “One day I’ll get you this”.
‘One day, I will get you this’.
At the time we were trying to launch the surf wear business and had no spare cash. So it was to my surprise, last year when he made good on that promise and bought me a black Reid Cycle, lovingly assembled in the garage, complete with basket and green gingham lining. It was love at first sight.
I started taking bike rides at dusk. The ability to hop on a bike, and go out the door, moving with speed, through nature on my own was the freest feeling I’d had in years.
I started taking bike rides at dusk.
The the kids were tucked up in bed, sleeping and still. Some days I hadn’t been outside all day. I’d be exhausted and covered in vomit, but once I got on the bike, I’d ride around town or down to the river. Just me and the road and everything just melted away. The summer evenings down here are breathtaking. Pink skies, balmy, salty air. I’d literally forgotten what dusk looked like since having kids. The bike gave me back my vibe. It saved me once from the precipice of post-natal depletion. Now it just brings me peace.
The bike gave me back my vibe.
When you have a new baby it can be bitter sweet. Both a joyful time (if you have an easy one) and incredibly grueling. Sleep deprivation, poor diet, lack of quality time with your partner, friends and yourself can take away your identity for a while. It’s so important to find a simple, yet healing activity to get your vibe back. Something that is just for you. A ritual that helps you recentre, recallibrate back to that cool person that you used to know and quite liked.
Make it your mantra to practice self-care everyday no matter what. It could be a run, a yoga class, a bath or a walk on the beach or a swim. Pick one, schedule it in with your partner or carer and go. It will make you a better mum, a better partner and friend and ultimately a better person. Trust me, I know!
Practice self-care everyday no matter what
How about you? Did you lose your vibe? How did you get it back? Tell us about your experience below.